Renate's Experience of the Creative Expression Art Studio

Thirteen years ago I was working in a nursery in Geneva. I heard about some painting classes. I just knew I really wanted to paint. I had to see this place.

The focaliser, Maria, showed me around. The colours and brushes on the palette table were very attractive. I liked the fact that it was not a place where you were taught, because I just had the desire to paint.

In the beginning, the white sheet of paper was very daunting. It was hard to start with. I was uncertain that I was doing the right thing. My mind was always criticising. Maria was simply there and supported me. She showed me how to use the tools and was very kind. This went on for many weeks and then there was a breakthroug. After that there was a confidence and fluency in the painting. I felt: "I know this language. Now I can grow!" My favourite moment in the painting sessions became the blank sheet at the beginning, the first brush stroke, the first circle or wave, and to see what would happen next.

There is something magical about the colours as they have different depths and also the brushstrokes on the paper vary. I really felt as if the paintings came to life, and also as if I was in the painting. I loved the fire colours, orange, yellow and red and had a fiery time. Later I chose water colours and I explored water, the waves and the sky. There was such a strong pull to paint waves and water, enjoying the movement and the turbulance. Painting was like experiencing the water in slow motion, mixing so many blues, greens and white. The strange thing is that in real life I am afraid of water and the sea. But while I was painting, I was fearlessly dancing in the waves.

Challenges would also arise and I would struggle with them. Old baggage came up. During these times it did not feel so good. But I learned to take responsibility and go through with it. There is a relief, contentment and peace on resolving the difficulties. Maria supported me through these stages. She would suggest various ways forward and seemed to have a sense of how I could continue.

At first I was on my own. Slowly more people came, adults and children. The studio began to feel lively and full of activity. In our group there were children, fiver year olds, ten year olds an elderly person; all with different ways of painting. The sense of equality spread through out our group. The palette table is like a rich banquet. We were all nourished from the same table. In a sense you share the same plate when you share the same colour. But you can also have your own colours, using a separate little container. Although it is a shared activity, each one of us was doing our own thing. We all went through stages of painting different things. You don't have to prove yourself in that group. There is no need to share anything about yourself, if you don't wish to. This brings a sense of freedom, liberation, equality and togetherness.

Coming into the studio was like coming home, because everything was basically the same. Much of what I learned in the studio I carried out in daily life, for instance, the sense of self confidence, knowing how to set about things and working through difficulties, and the magic of just being able to create.

~ Abreviated text by Renate, available with her permission.